What a friggin classic that joint was. I was just relaxing half asleep and I hear this water start running outisde my window. I didnt think much of it but after and hour or so its more like a river running through the air conditioner not a drip, ok so I tried to roll back over and thought stuff this ive got to check out what is going theres just to much water running on outside.
Walked into the bathroom to have a slash and was confronted by the bathroom full of water and just about to come over the little legde and into the main part of the room and the roof sagging down drippingb all over the place ahahah seriously if it wasnt so dangerous it was hilarious. And in dangerous I mean theres live wires everywhere in this joint the light just hangs down out of the roof all the power points are dodgy to say the least and whats in the roof where all the water is coming from is anyones guess, one thing for sure I wasnt going to jump in the massive puddle to have a piss and see if it was electrified or not.
Theres still the river running outside my back window i’ve got to go see whats going on there. I felt safe enough going outside in the middle of the night as the security guy was walking around with the 12 guage shotgun earlier ill just sneak up behind him and grab him and let him no its me ahahah
Ok that went ok no pellets in the belly to report. I tell him about whats going on and we walk out the laneway and theres a river running down the road coming from the roof. We walk around and theres the problem the 3 big tanks on the roof are choker block and over flowing all over the place and down into the room, my room. I relaise somethings got to be done about this it wasnt ideal situation so he gets on the phone and rings the manageress asleep in the front office.
Ive spent 10 minutes looking for a tap and she walks out and walks straight up to a little switch behind a potplant and turns it off. I tell her the damage it has caused in my room and she comes into have a quick look looks at the roof about to collapse and the room full of water and says you can have your money back, I said to her we can discuss that in the morning and back to bed she goes. The water didnt stop for another few hours obvioulsy the tanks had an over flow release so I just put all the towelss I had in the room to stop it coming into thr main room and tried to go back to sleep.
Tried. well for a start the bed was F&^*ed a thin foam mattress, pillws that even I would of thrown out at home, the air conditioner was like a panzer tank running and the thought that the water in amoungst all the electicals in the roof could short the system and start a fire and as all the windows were barred and theres only one exit. I know harden up princess but you had to be there it was so dodgy im telling you. Ive slept in some shotholes in my time but this one took the cake as the worst ever. I tried turning panzer tank air conditioner off but as it was about so bloody hot in thise little sweat box that was just not possible so I fired her back up again.
Well on a positive note if I ever get arrested in Mozambique ill probably feel as safe asI did last night in that dump. To funny really if this joint was in Australia they would be barred from ever owning a lodge or guest house again ahahahah. Im not going to name names as if your lucky enough to get it you will know what I mean. What a f*&^ing dump.
Got a few hours sleep in the end but was up at 5 ish and thiough fuck im aliove im gettign out of here before my luck runs out so up I get andf pack the bike up and im on the road with out getting my money back, I figure at least I can say it was the worst motel ive ever payed to stay in.
So away i went on the road to the border crossing thinking about how fucked up this place is, serioulsy Mozambique is an amazingly beautiful and the local people are all so friendly but whats with the charging like wounded bulls for everything is such and expensive country by far the most expensive in southern Africa but again make sure you have all your contingiency pland in order cause if something goes wrong here your f&*^ed. I guess its expensive theres so many relief orgsnizations here I seen them all world food program or whatever it was unicef bla bla bla and all of them driving around in there nice trucks so its expensive cause of them cashing on on that.
I talked to a bloke who supplies the mines with food last night he was telling me a story of one of the villages that wouldnt let the charity agencies fix their well cause if it was fixed then there would be no need for the agencies to come and give them handouts and there is just so many here to give them.
Its just so sad to see such a beautiful country with so much fertile land totally fucked up like it is. I can see why Magabe kicked them all out and although Zimbabwe has issues and poverty as well, the peole are all so self sufficent it leaves the other countries for dead.
While I was riding along towards the border on the shittiest of roads with potholes the size of a green sized bunker the thought that came into my head was didnt these guys have a war with South Africa not that long ago and if so how didnt the South Africans just walk in here and kick their asses, I guess its all those 7 and 8 kid families they just kept coming ahahaha Seriously though its a an amazing country and its sad to see it so trashed.
Ended up gettign to the border crossing wasnt going to pay anyone this time as it was fairly quiet and I know the drill anyways so told the boys no thanks but got a couple of kids to look after my bike. Stamp stamp stamp had to jsut chase the guy up in customs to sign off on ther carnet right its on my head so you got to make sure its all signed right so thats all done and im off to Malawi.
Get into the border posts pretty modern joint for Malawi wasnt expecting that at all got all, the boys surrounding me hassling me thats cool its part of the deal but there all pretty friendly and after all they are only trying to help you and part you from some of your cash and sell you some dollars and insurance which you got to get anyway and half the time you get a better exchange rate with these guys than you would if you changed your money at the bank.
Im all done I flick a few boys a few bucks to make everyone happy tghey got somethign out of me but they were helpful to a degree even if on a tad and we are only talking enough to buy a can of coke or two after all.
I ride off in the general direction of Blantyre along the M1 took me a little bnit longer than I thought the Gps had me off the road I was supposed to be on but this is the main highway so maybe the other way was a bit of a wiondier road who knows I didnt care it still was only a few hour ride and very nice one at that. The M1 in Malawi is sweet long good tar roads a few sections with potholes it was all pretty smooth sailing. I was in alotof pain shitty nights sleep last night on that shit bed didbnt help whatsover but oh well no use stopping id be there soon.
Arrove in Balntyre jsut after lunc h so really early which was nice did consider going onto Makey Bay in one hot which is another 300 K’s away bit thought stuff it ill spend a day or so in a big city and get me some fast food and anything else I need to buy, I do need to fix that back rack on the bike so I can do that while im here.
Hung out for awhile in my room in this pretty nice joint cooling down under the air conditioner then decided to go into town and have a look around. was really nice and friendly the people are really nice and I wasnt disapointed with that though from all the Malawians Id met and were told it wasnt unexpected for them to be so welcoming, they are jsut a nice people theres no doubt about it.
Rode around and around and walk around and around and found a sticker for the bike which was cool on my first day in Malawi they are rare as hens teeth to find the stickers in all countries so all good. Found a nice fast food joint I hadnt heard of so yep you guessed it in I go to buy two chicken burgers and yeah bloody magic stuff. Talked to the owner who saw me pull up on my bike he was from Pakistan but now a Malawi local. We talked cricket for awhile which was a nice change he had watched the aussies beat Sri Lanka last night or whenever it was.
Hooked my burgers down my gob and then went did a bit of shopping bought some rechargable batteries for my spot tracker its been sucking them so quick its not funny so thats one little expense I shouldnt have to worry about again. Bumped into a bloke James as I was leaving and had a chat for awhile then he went in to one of the shops and broought out his mate who was german so was nioce to meet to friendly locals well sort of locals bikers anyway. Thomas had a couple fo Ktms and a nice super bike i think it was a suzuki all the stickers were off it and tyhe other dude owned an R1 and some other bike i cant remember now.
So all good got my airtel sim car for malawi so got internet again through the 3gs network and found a great hotspot atthe burger joint so might be a good reason to stay another day and go eat burgers and upload shit loads of pictures. Anyway off to Monkey Bay when I leave here its only 3 hours away so not hard riding ill get there when I get there.
Adios












